Mana Girlfriends who aren't Kanon Need To Horobiru

♪♪ I enjoy being a girl ♪♪

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 02:18:15 GMT

There are some good things about being a girl.
For example, people give you flowers, like poinsettia...shrubberies.

I'm serious.
I was walking down the hall when these two guys come in with a number of boxes.
One of them turns to me and goes, "Do you want a poinsettia"
And I said yes and he gave me a plant...

It's about as high as my bum and, if I wanted to, I could hide behind it.
It's also in the living room right now - it goes really well with the phallic gay tree.

So happy holidays.

PS. The Karen Millen sale going on right now, for anyone who's interested.
PPS. Should you happen to be on the lookout for a new artist, I highly recommend Little Boots.
It's not just because her name reminds me of my brother's little pants either *lol*
They're from when he was 7, but somehow we both still fit into them.
From time to time we'll put them on and run around and...it's actually quite stupid. But totally fun.

.-｡.:･゜オッハァWORLD! (´∇｀)ﾟ･:.｡. ･゜ﾟ･:.｡..

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:38:57 GMT

I just did my laundry!!!!

And then I sneezed all over it

Oh well

安らかに眠むりますように（泣）

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 04:36:28 GMT

昨夜,午前三時ごろなにか不安を感じて突然起きた。
「Where's my Street of ALICE CD?!?!」
ふっと思ったら、何ヶ月もみてない！...ちょっとパニック状態。

I found it today...in the trunk of my father's car.
[How did it get there????]

The water wrinkled pages were covered in rust and blotted out, the ink of the CD jacket running in sad swirls, and the barely recognizable clock in Dada's hands blurring in a goldenrod glow with the blackened background while gastly blue streaks eddied gaudily across the glossy print.
その哀れなお姿を見つけたら何故か泣きたくなってきた。

大学生の時毎日聞いてたあたしの一番好きだったCDが...

It's no good anymore - I'll have to try to find a new one.

So excuse me while I go and cry
(and try to decide how much of that was just drama, and how much of it was really me hurting.
I can't tell what I'm feeling most of the time. Underdeveloped Humanity　>_<)

My poupee is commiserating.
http://pupe.ameba.jp/profile/5KbjOKHgowww/

Tingles don't visit my Mixi!

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:46:41 GMT

I wonder if Kaya knew what he was saying when he compared his fans to Sandy *lol*

Not much else to say. Don't think anyone'd really be interested in my life.
I need to get me some art lessons so I have something to do that interests me.

I'm not sure if I posted this yet, but it's the current extent of my artistic abilities.
It's called "The Painful end for Pony" or something.
Cause those snooty people name their art so I did too (if you can call it that)

太ったと思ったのに

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 04:13:19 GMT

I found a pair of pants at BCBG about 6 months ago...and they were $200 so I was like "nah..."
And then I found them at TJMaxx for $90 and was like "well...."
...and got them, and then returned them because I dunno I just did.

Then today I found them at the BCBG final cuts outlet for $29...
So I got them again. And they are FINAL SALE XD Finally. They're light blue with tan stripes.

Thing is, I know I said I was fat before, but at TJMaxx I got a size 2 and it was snug.
This time I got the 0 and it was perfect...O_o

I wanted to get the suit top, but it turns out their XS is too big for me so fail.

I like my pants. But it seems I may have actually lost some weight since the summer...
Also I have no boobs so I've always had issues finding tops.

In this song, I am the one they call guys wimpy nerdfreaks for liking.

撮影-The Dada thing I did

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:36:55 GMT

Here's the Dada thing I did.

Okay, now to set things straight, I'm NOT a sports person. At all.
But there was something almost exciting about the speedways...
If I'm ever in Charlotte when there's a race going on, I might consider going.

Here are some pics of the main track and the new ZMax (the DRAGWAY...it has DRAG in it :3)
It was raining, so I brightened the pics a bit. Which is why there's the umbrella.
ISN'T IT AN AWESOME UMBRELLA?!?!??!

more:

http://www.lerman.biz/asagao/zmax.jpg
http://www.lerman.biz/asagao/zmax3.jpg

http://www.lerman.biz/asagao/motorway2.jpg
http://www.lerman.biz/asagao/motorway3.jpg

These pics were also very hard to take because I spent the entire trip in 8cm stiletto thigh boots and it's not exactly...stable...walking up the stairs in those.

I'm back in Mass now.
When I stepped off the plane it dropped about 20 degrees F
and the people dropped about 20 lbs.

I did buckle in and get some fast food - Jack in the Box - before I left though (>_<)
An eggnog shake and some fries...
I drank 1/5 the shake and then stuck 3/4 the fries in it so it looked like puke and I didn't drink the rest or eat any more of the fries.
So crisis semi-averted.

IN DIXIELAND

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:20:56 GMT

Where, for the record, I was not born...in North Carolina to be exact...

1) There are SO many friggin McDonalds XD
There's also something called Bojangles that seems to be a more fatty version of KFC...
Which there are also a lot of.
You know, to put it simply, there's just a lot of fried fast food. And steakhouses.
It's a little freaky and I'm a little hungry.
(for the record, the McDonalds in my town closed because no one ever went there)

2. They're not "speed bumps", they're "road humps"...
Still being mentally in middle school, I found that quite amusing.

3. People don't drive tractors on the highway.
In fact, they do that more often in Massachusetts O_o

4. Tailgating is something that's done after the NASCAR race, not to just about everybody and anybody driving in front of you, no matter how fast they are going and which lane they are in
and PS Massachusetts drivers need to die.

5. People are...friendly (^_^)

6. Everything closes sooner than it does in HIROSHIMA even.
Like, by 5pm most of downtown is shut down. Charlotte was SUPPOSED to be big, back in the .com haydays, but after the crash it seems to have become by and large abandoned.
I'm sure it was more interesting a decade ago, but now it's just row after row of black store windows and fast food.

7. They have a beef jerky outlet (...snooooort..>XDDDD)
People laugh when you take pictures of it with your keitai(...XDDDD)

8. They have a large selection of thigh-high boots.

9. They have a large selection of overweight people (see #1)

And yes, they do have the dragway~so pics to come.
I could technically stay here a few extra days and drive the 5 hours north to VA to see Kaya perform...but I'm not paying for 3 extra hotel nights, and I'm not living in my car so...

子馬＝初恋 & ブーツ

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:49:57 GMT

Okay, seriously, I am thinking of making a Mana pony.

Because these things are impressive and I don't even really like Naruto.

Also, I am probably going to get a coat soon (it looks a lot better on a human)
This one
I need some deconstructed boots to go with it - I was thinking something worn looking, buckley, and either black or brown. Maybe 1-2cm heel, round toe...
If anyone knows of a place that would sell those kind of boots please let me know.

それで、お待ちかねた瞬間が～！

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:20:47 GMT

I gained about 500 Dada points today.

And I did it without the help of thongs or pony costumes or anything!~

I'll tell you more about it in January but it was kinda fun so remind me.

♪星を見つめよう♪

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 03:00:37 GMT

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! (^__^)

タトゥー

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:38:40 GMT

This new years I would really like to FINALLY get my tatoo.

It will say "Maguro" and will be on the left side of my body right below the small of my back.

One of the biggest arguments against tatoos is that, when you get old, they start to droop with your skin and look nastay freaky.
I don't really see that part of me sagging.
And if it does, that's pretty much going to be my spine sagging, and I'll have a lot more to worry about than my tatoo.

The Hanachan argument is that they are dum. We royally ignore that one.

Thing is...I don't have the design yet. If I had some idea of what I wanted it to look like I could definitely draw it myself.
But I'm completely out of ideas. So...someone?
HELP!

maji now.

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:09:00 GMT

Pandora decided to try to throw:

1. A song from the Chicago Gay Games...
2. The Teen Titans theme song.

..into my mix.
Sorry dude, not digging it. But it was pretty funny.

Sometimes I really do wonder where they get their ideas of what's related to what.
And of course they do offer explanations, but you need a PHD in music theory to understand them.

Dear Diary, I'm fat.

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:04:53 GMT

太ってる

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:20:04 GMT

Have you ever reached that point in your life where there is nothing you want
nothing you are looking forward to, and nowhere you want to be?

Where the prospect of nothing excites you and you just sit there and wish you were dead?
I'm not good for anything. There's no reason for me to be here.

That, I think, is ultimately "life"
I don't want it anymore. I don't want to live anymore.
I don't want to live
I don't want to live
I don't want to live

初雪

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 01:37:45 GMT

Today I went in to Boston.
They had closed off the road for a college kayaking competition or something.
It was stupid.

And it was also raining.

But gradually the rain turned into snow and I had a very silly thought.
I will not tell you what it was~

Argh. Hope to have the Dada article done within the week.

EDT: OR TODAY. YAY DONE~!

PINKIE PIE?!?!?!

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:46:55 GMT

They named a My Little Pony PINKIEPIE?!?!?!?!

PINKIE PIE??
DUMBLEAHH

OnceMy Little Ponies were girly and glittery and dumb and AWESOME.
Now they're making them girly and lizardy and dumb and dumbbleahh.
Next they'll have a Tsuji Nozomi Pony.

I'm done.

Oh yeah. And I sneezed all over my dad today and got Halloween underwear.
Oops..

I want to b a MLP for Halloween.

SOAPに帰ろう...って？

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 03:00:25 GMT

I owe a picture of my Arachnophobia shirt.
But for now, here is my leopard blazer and grey jeans.
The jeans have little silver button-up studs through the backs and detailing on the legs
(which you can kind of see in the pic).
I'm kneeling because it would have been to hard to see the leopard print from farther away.
And I'm in TJMaxx because I had to go there. To get underpants. With Eiffle Tower print.
So I would have the Eiffle Tower on my bum (nah but I love France).

So yeah. I also posted part 4 of Dada's article a minute ago friends only so go check it out...
The first thing I thought when I read it was,
"Oh thank GOD he washed them. He's better than 99% of the otaku out there!"
And Hanachan thought "O_o"

But it still holds that he is the awesomest whatever to roam the earth EVER.

臭鼬鼠追い祭り

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 00:37:31 GMT

Due to an inauspicious work schedule, darker winter hours,
and the the fact that I'm EXHAUSTED for no real reason,
I have not had the opportunity to go running in 4 days.
It sucks ;_;

I finally couldn't take it anymore and decided to go today after work.
By then it was completely dark, and the whole time I was running
all I could think was, "ARRGH! The skunks are going to chase me!!!"

I dunno why don't ask me.

So every time I heard a noise, I would freak out and think it was a skunk,
and that it was going to chase after me and spray me.
I'd hear a noise in the bush and think, "AAAHH SKUNKS ARE GOING TO CHASE ME!" and run away.
Or I'd hear a noise up in the tree and think, "AAAHH FLYING SKUNKS ARE GOING TO FALL ON ME!" and run away.
Which was fine, since I was already running.

I only got through Hot Gossip's "Break Me Into Little Pieces" and something completely un-motivational by Strawberry Switchblade before I had to go inside XD
On the bright side, I will have time tomorrow morning to go to the gym instead.

--------
That aside, I never thought I would own a pair of skinny jeans,
and I never ever thought I would own a pair of grey wash jeans...
but now I own not just skinny jeans, and not just grey jeans, but a pair of skinny grey jeans O_o

They're actually kinda hot and people keep stopping me to tell me how awesome they are.
I might post pics at some point. They have button up metal studs at the bottom.
See, I needed them to go with my leopard print blazer....
(don't worry, it's nice - I'm not going kogyaru on you all XD)

I also found this song by "Barbie" (Alexander Bard of Army of Lovers) which is awesome like my jeans.

KI・RE・I

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:29:04 GMT

So I know I'm taking a while to finish with Dada's essay.
But see, at the same time that I got the Secret of Drag Queen book
(I can't believe I didn't know about it until now - I've GONE to DeptH)
I also got a book called "The Complete Guide to Suicide"

...and that is easier to understand than Dada. And slightly more useful.

In conclusion, sorry it's taking so long.

And I want these. Too bad they're used and like, $90.
They are my size though. Maybe I should just make them XD
When I was little I used to make roses out of toilet paper and give them to my mom.
She was really happy.

This can't be all that different.

見つけたぁ！

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:46:00 GMT

Finally.

These are some pics I took while I was in boywear.
Friend edited out because we lost touch and I dunno if he'd want his pic all over the internetz.

Hanachan says I look funny.
I say whatever. At least they're here now so I can't lose them again.
For anyone who's interested for whatever reason.

反社会的傾向

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 22:42:17 GMT

For some reason or other people seem to want to talk to me over the past few days, like when I'm walking around the mall on break or just being...anywhere.
But I walk really fast and always have my iPod up on high so they don't really have a chance. Oh well.
Yesterday I think a gay couple wanted to talk to me about Kaya (O_o I know, weird right?),
and then today I think a guy wanted to ask if I was up to grabbing coffee at some point (O_o I know, weird right?)
But I'm not feeling all that talkative at the moment.

The other day in the parking lot there was an accident.
There were police cars, and an ambulance, and some sort of substance was scattered across the pavement.
It may have been bags, it may have been...parts; I couldn't get close enough to tell.
Because I was on break and I needed a friggin muffin.

For those who know me I didn't actually eat it.
I ate the burnt part on the top and sucked on the wrapper like a chupaenvoltorio (heehee).
Because that is my lot in life.

Anyhow, after I'd driven away, I realized I was smiling.
I hoped someone had died.

I still do.

I keep thinking that must make me a bad person somehow, but then I think, "why should it?"

In truth, I find death to be a rather happy thing.
But I figure I'm allowed to, as I am not afraid to die myself.

I think this is what they refer to as "antisocial"

愛されたい?愛したい?それか...死にたいのかな...

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:05:44 GMT

Yahoo Japan did a survey to see whether people would rather love or be loved
and which one men and women chose more.
It was among salarymen and OL's or something, but still interesting.

http://enmusubi.yahoo.co.jp/enquete/result.html?id=0905071

The results are that a few more people say they would rather love than be loved
and that men are more likely to want to love someone,
whereas women are more likely to want to be loved.
Given it's only sample sized but still. The results are pretty split.

Now, the first thing I don't understand is what men mean when they say they want to love.
Like, is loving somebody wanting to screw them? Or being possessive?
Or is it that weird obsessive feeling that some of them have towards action figures?
Can guys feel anything else?
I'm confused. That's confusing.

The other thing is, I think loving and being loved would be the same.
I don't think I could ever love somebody who didn't love me.
Because, by in large, I think I'd love them to some extent BECAUSE they loved me.
Not that I'd ever know because I don't think I'm capable of those emotions.

I've also been thinking about other things.
Like my joblessness.
And when people ask me where I see myself in 10 years, or what my ideal job would be
I always make up some stupid thing.
But I realized the truth is "I want to die. I want to be dead."

In the end, I'd really rather be dead than have a job.
I'm just not strong enough - kinda wishy washy and afraid to commit to doing something
so permanent and risky.
UGH XD

Oh yeah. Last of all, I finally got the Ophelia lyrics up and wrote some silliness *poetry house snaps*

Rod Zoomie

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 05:22:01 GMT

Today a thing happened.
I went to speak to my father...

Me: "yo" *goes and starts making vroom sounds into the fan* IT'S FUN TRY IT!
Dad: "hi Faith"
Me: "Some day I am going to come in here, and you're going to be standing here making sounds into the fan just like this."
Dad: "Yes, and then we'll know it's time to put me on meds."
Me: "Indeed. God knows I need them."

*vroom sounds follow for about a minute*

Me: "By the by, did you know Rob Zombie made a cartoon?"
Dad: "No...who's Rod Zoomie?"
Me: O_o

*long silence*

Me: "Rob Zombie dad."
Dad: "Who's that? Rod Zoomie's better."
Me: "Nevermind it doesn't matter. I wouldn't watch it with you anyway cause you're oooold put on a miniskirt.
But you won't. cause you're not cool."
Dad: "I'm a man. Men don't wear miniskirts."
Me: "Yes they DOOOOOO"

And then I went into my room and typed this and went to bed.

Believe it or not, my dad wants me living here.
As soon as I get a stable job I'm going to find my own apartment though.
If. I find a job.
I...won't. Damn I'm depressed now.

EDT: I FORGOT. I also brushed my teeth & flossed before I went to bed.
EVERYONE REMEMBER TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND FLOSS! IT IS IMPORTANT FOR GOOD ORAL HEALTH.

異なる美感覚...ですって？（笑）

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 05:46:12 GMT

First things first - go watch bakemonogatari.
Senjogahara is awesome and totally right about everything.

Next: warning

If you cannot handle alternative points of view, do not read this.
And do not click the link. And if you do, just accept it for what it is.

I am not a happy person.
In fact, I'm most likely what could be considered chronically depressed...
suffering from extreme anxiety and paranoia...
maybe *lol* even borderline suicidal.
I would like to nuke India with missiles or biological weapons for taking my job,
for this is by and large the reason I am still this way.
And when I say this I am utterly serious. Maybe a tad crazy, but also serious.

It's just who I am. I accept that.

Yet somehow mostly everyone else seems to think I am a happy little girl...

That said, when I am extremely unhappy I turn to art to make me feel better.

Sometimes this means drawing.
Other times this means cutting my left arm and leg with a razor
blotting the blood with paper towels to make [what I consider] aesthetic patterns
and hanging it up on my bedroom wall to dry in an uzumaki-ordered square.

My goal is to cover the entire wall before I kill myself.

This is my latest creation, made about 15 minutes ago

And there. Now you know I'm batsy.

I also got a new KM outfit. It was somewhere around $50 and cuuute~!

小型車の人生

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 04:27:41 GMT

My god am I boring.

First, I decided that I would like to have a wedding some day.
Not really get married necessarily but still have a wedding.
The dress code would be polka dots and goth boots,
and naturally you don't HAVE to wear them, but if you chose not to
you will be given giant polka-dot mushroom costumes
to wear whenever pictures are being taken.
It would be just like Super Mario World.

My Dad has already stated his intentions not to come
(He also refused to wear a miniskirt, for the record. Such not a cool daddy)

Secondly, Today we got some skinny jeans in at KM.
I tried them on and the girl I was working with looked at me and went,
"God, I never realized how anorexic-looking you are!"

...thing is though, I'm not.
I would do anything to look like Kalm (*lol* not that I think he's anorexic or anything...I just think he is)...
But I realized today that I really never will look like that.

I'm small (not short - 165cm), but it's not a skinny, sleek kind of small.
It's a compact kind of small.
Like a Toyota Corolla small, if that makes sense.
It can fit into places other cars can't and it's still nothing special.

It's sad ;_;
So in other words I can be 100 lbs and still look healthy when other people are in hospitals.

...didn't Kaya say something about skinny jeans, btw?
Someone should tell him to get those or something, if he can fit into them and wants to wear girl pants XD